Forms of Domestic Violence
Emotional and Verbal Abuse: Definitions of abuse and domestic violence can be confusing. Many researchers have used “physical violence, resulting in bodily injury” as a primary definition. Yet it is clear that for many victims of domestic violence, psychological and emotional abuse is at least as harmful, if not more so than physical abuse.
In her book, The Battered Woman, Lenore E. Walker writes about an abuse survivor she interviewed.
“One woman described life threatening physical assaults, one of which resulted in a broken vertebrae in her neck. She was in physical pain for months following this beating. However, when asked to describe the most painful battering incident, she said it was her husband commanded her to get on her knees and make sounds like an animal. This psychological degradation was far more humiliating and painful than the physical abuse she suffered. Battered women repeatedly cite psychological humiliation and isolation as their worst battering experiences, whether or not they have ever been physically abused.”
Emotional abuse is sometimes harder than physical abuse to define and recognize. A bruise will heal but the damage to a person’s self esteem can last forever.
The following are some examples of emotional abuse:
- Ignoring a partner’s feelings
- Ridiculing or insulting women as a group
- Ridiculing or insulting valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class
- Withholding approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment
- Continually criticizing, calling names, or shouting at partners
- Humiliating partners in private or public
- Refusing to socialize
- Taking car keys or money away
- Regularly threatening to leave or told to leave
- Threatening to hurt family members
- Punishing or depriving the children when angry
- Threatening to kidnap the children
- Abusing, torturing, or killing pets
- Harassing partners about imagined affairs
- Manipulating partners with lies and contradictions
- Destroying furniture, punching holes in walls, or breaking appliances
- Wielding weapons in a threatening way
Physical Abuse: Physical Abuse is one of the first forms of violence people think of when they hear the words domestic violence. Physical abuse is slightly easier to recognize because of its physical qualities. It is harder to hide a bruise or broken body part than it is to cover an emotional and/or physiological scar. Physical abuse occurs when behaviors that are clearly intended to render the victim powerless and to gain control are used. Research indicated that men overwhelmingly perpetrate this violence and that when women do engage in this level of violence, it is most likely to be self-defense against a violent male partner.
The following are some examples of physical abuse:
- Pushing, kicking, slapping, scratching
- Pulling hair, twisting arm
- Biting, punching, or strangling
- Locking someone out of their home
- Throwing objects
- Subjecting someone to reckless driving
- Abandoning someone in dangerous place
- Using household objects as weapons
- Threatening with weapons
- Abuse that results in lacerations, broken bones, internal injuries, or miscarriage
- Abuse that lead to disfigurement or disability
- Murder
Domestic violence can be lethal. Death is always possible as an accidental outcome of the violence. It can also be in intentional outcome. In Virginia, someone is killed by their intimate partner every five days. Nationwide, 34% of all female homicide victims and 4% of male homicide victims were killed by their intimate partners in 2001.
Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse is a difficult aspect of domestic violence to identify and discuss. Women are expected to endure a tremendous amount of sexual violence in their lives, and many will have difficulty identifying sexual abuse as abuse. Sexual violence is used by abusers in the same way that physical violence is used: to establish control.
The following are some examples of sexual abuse:
- Using a sexual derogatory name
- Forcing a partner to strip
- Accusing a partner of promiscuity
- Forcing a partner to watch the abusive partner with others
- Subjecting the partner to unwanted touching
- Forcing a partner to participate in any form of sexual activity
- Biting, pinching, or hurting a partner with objects during sex
- Sexually assaulting a partner
Financial Abuse: Financial abuse is another obscure form of domestic violence. It occurs when one partner is controlling the financial independence and freedom of the other partner.
The following are some examples of financial abuse:
- Having all bank accounts are in abuser’s name
- Controlling how, when, and where money is spent
- Denying a partner the right to work outside the home or make any financial contribution to the family
- Controlling all or most of the finances
- Misusing a partner’s name for financial reasons
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